Drunken Fullmetal- Frustrated Flame
by ScarMaskWarrior
Summary: Edward gets so tired of life that he gets drunk one night, and Mustang finds him. At first, the frustrated Flame is cold to him, until Edward attempts something unspeakable ADOPTED FROM jmtothemusic chapters 1-5 uploded in one smush and the rest will be from me!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Colonel Roy Mustang strode his way through the entrance of the military dorms. Shutting the opened door behind him, he removed his black trench coat, mounds of snow forming at the base of his feet. Looking aimlessly around, spotting nothing, he decided he would retire for the night, due to the (apparently) upcoming boredom.

Making his way up the stairs, he allowed his thoughts to travel to his youngest subordinate; Edward Elric, and his younger brother, Alphonse. The two boys had always been such a nusance, getting in the way of his incomplete paperwork because they always managed to make him concerned. Despite this, he secretly preyed for the younger to finally be able to live his life a normal way, as a small, warm child, who could breathe, feel and eat.

But, furthermore, he desired to finally see the two smile. To know that they had what they wanted, and to experience the growth of the children, who never allowed themselves to seem helpless. But, there was no fooling Colonel Mustang. He could see beyond the children's front.

Edward Elric was a boy who could look fierce, even when hunched in a wheelchair, completely helpless. Like the day Roy first met him. To the naked eye, Edward Elric was a boy who never gave up, who needed nothing to depend on, who didn't need to have the comfort from those above him. He could handle anything, anyone, and even when you kick him while he's down, he would still rise to face the next challenge.

But he was human. And even keeping in mind his personality and strength, he was still a child. A child who should be in school, making friends, and taking preliminary exams, the ones at his age level. Hell, it was still illegal for a child his age to hold a part time job! Children should have little worries in the world.

Not Edward Elric. While children should only have the concern of what letter they receive on their papers, and what someone said to their friends, Edward held a job way beyond his years, worrying constantly about his brother, disabled from the senses of the human being. His limbs had been torn from his body, and he had to lug around thirty six pounds of extra weight on his nerves, dragging along with throbbing pain all day, and seeing the suffrage of others. Holding the government job that the public bashes on, discriminated for his childishness, when that's the way he is supposed to behave.

Yes, that was the life of Edward Elric. All alone in the world, simply working for a helpless cause for the only family he has. Nobody to lean on, but still being depended on by others.

And despite this, he keeps going. How? Why torture yourself? Because he's too determined. To stuck on his goal to look at the big picture, the one about his life, his only chance to be a child, and his stubbornly turning away from his own happiness.

Roy Mustang theorized that he would need release; one day he would loose himself and just crack. He's only human... A child at that.

Yawning, the Colonel turned. He had been so deep in his thoughts, he'd climbed several floors above where his dorm was!

Making his tired way down the stairs, glancing at the clock to see it was three in the morning, he heard a shut of a door. A small, cherubic figure stepped out, stumbling their way down the stairs! The figure wavered, tripping, and was seemingly falling...

The exhausted Colonel dashed to the person's side to prevent them from falling down the stairs, and breaking their head open. Stealing a glance at the person's face, he was shocked into recognition.

"Fullmetal?!" The Colonel questioned; the last time he was in Central, the child had requested to go to a little town on the outskirts of Xing, in search for the fabled philosopher's stone.

The younger alchemist smelled sweet. He smelled like something familiar, that Roy had spent much of his time with.. Oh, what was it? For some strange reason, the superior had gotten an odd sense of nostalgia for the smell, and remembered his old friend, Brigidear General Hughes.

Suddenly, realization popped into his mind; the scent was that of the sweetest drink (in Roy's mind) that a person over 21 could have: Vodka.

The child turned his head into the older man's chest, trying with the best of efforts to open his eyes to no avail.

"Fullmetal," Roy spoke, hard voice, "what are you doing in Central...?"

The younger alchemist managed to get his eyes open, the golden orbs staring strait into Roy's onyx colored eyes. The child made a sort of whimpering sound, and began to slur words together, but muffling them into Roy's navy uniform.

"What was that?" Roy spoke, irritation growing along side his anxiety.

"I-goo-ta-goooof-indal", Edward tried, beginning to take some of his own weight onto his small feet.

"Hm? You goota fin dal?" Roy said questionably. He was confused, and slightly amused by the made-up words.

"Noo," Edward breathed, "Igooto-findal", he said, like there was no way Roy could have mis heard him. He then commenced in struggling his way out of the Colonel's arms. Mustang just held him tighter.

"Fullmetal, you drank, didn't you." He said flatly.

"Nnuuu..."

"Don't lie to me, Edward. Tell me the truth. How much did you drink?"

"Ah...Mmby three, fourr.."

"Three or four what?"

"Vodkaa."

"No, three or four... sips, cups, pints?! What!?" The man's voice climbed, earning him the shuffle of someone in the dorm nearby. But his voice had only rose out of frustration, that he had no clue what was happening, why the kid drank, how much, and where the hell was Alphonse?!

"Mmm...bottlees..." the drunk alchemist responded, clearly blind to the man's concern.

"_Bottles?!_ You want me to believe, a little kid like you, drank _three bottles_ of _Vodka?!_" Roy voiced, loosing control, realizing he needed to find somewhere else to continue the conversation.

"Mmm...Maybe fffffourr."

"Edward, you are drunk, and you are going to get sick, and... Where is your brother?!" Roy spoke

"I-gotta-go-finddd himm." Edward slurrmed, struggling to get free from Roy's grasp, much to no avail.

Roy scooped him up into his arms, despite the struggle, and panicked his way down the stairs, knowing well that even he, an experienced drinker, couldn't take four bottles of vodka. If Edward fell asleep, he would go into a coma, or worse... Well, Roy didn't want to think about what could happen.

"Puut mee downn, i nn..i nnn..i need to gett Allll.."

As much as the Colonel was worried about Al, he knew that right now, he couldn't look for him, leave Ed alone, or take the time to think about where he was. Alphonse was a seven foot tall suit of armor, a great fighter/alchemist, and as long as his seal was intact, he was practically invincible.

"Edward, stay awake." Mustang said, rushing into his dorm to get help. Damn, it was always at times like these that he had trouble getting the stupid key into the lock...

"Im soo tirrred..Dontnt tell me wat to doe bastered."

Finally into the room, Mustang slammed the door shut, and dropped Edward onto the floor.

"Ouwwch."

"Ouch? Is that what you have to say for yourself? _Ouch?!_ I'll tell you what Edward, if you're telling me that _that_ hurt, what do you say to finding your youngest subordinate drunk? How about the fact that if I wasn't there, you could have boarded a train, got lost, or got kidnapped? Or maybe you would have wandered the streets by yourself, looking for your brother, and ended up getting beaten by someone, or mugged, or on the sliver chance you would have FOUND him like this, you plan on fighting the enemy, when you could barely stand?!" He boomed. He couldn't express his feelings of relief that he found the kid before something happened to him. He had to express his absolute love and compassion with anger.

"I'm so-"

"Yeah, I heard. You're soooo tired. If you were really worried about your little brother, maybe you would have looked for him instead of getting drunk."

"Nya, I'm-"

And then he bent over the toilet and got sick... VERRY sick. Roy gave him a hard stare, and stalked his way out of the bathroom door, locking it behind him.

"Take care of yourself, Fullmetal" He said coldly.

11111

About an hour later, the colonel awoke to a high pitched squealing noise. Rolling his eyes, he rose from beneath the sheets and strode toward the bathroom, thinking about how he would scold the child inside for waking him. Turning the knob, the man realized that he had locked the door. Reaching for the key, he noticed he had misplaced it. He rapped on the door three times, saying,

"Fullmetal, I-" until he heard something...troubling. It had sounded like a combination of a pained screech and a sob, but mixed so smoothly with Fullmetal's voice, that it sounded more like a cry of pain to Roy.

Softening his voice due to his puzzled-ness, he said, "Fullmetal- I mean, Edward?"

"Ah, emm, erm, ah, ugh, aaaa-" He heard from the inside, but the noise was muffled. He wondered what he was saying, maybe he was putting letters together, or maybe he was styfling his crying, or maybe...

Roy's heart skipped a beat. Fullmetal had cracked... he was trying to- oh, god, oh no... Edward was trying to kill himself

"Fullmetal, stay calm, I'll be right there, don't do it, just stay still... I'm gonna fix it for you, just wait and see-" The panicking Colonel staggered, lifting objects, searching for the keys, frantically searching for the stupid keys, or his gloves, or a crowbar or anything he could open the stupid door with so he free the boy in his bathroom-

"AH-! ermm..."

"STOP THAT FULLMETAL!" He yelled, tearing books from the desk, ripping the drawers out of the closet for the damn keys and spinning back in fourth in a panicking search for ANYTHING that could bust the damn door... _by the time i find it it'll be too late!-_

"ERMmmm...I faillleeeedd youuuuu, i faillled youuuuu...!" Came from the bathroom in a wheezing cry, panting and panting followed, Roy Backing from the door, not having any other way to open the door, ignoring the fact that he now heard someone on the other side of the main entrance to his room, shaking the hinges to try and get in, and ignoring the beat of his heart that was making his whole being shake with frustration and worry and the felling of pressure on his veins and all the MOANING from the bathroom, and the words of fright booming from his lips, screaming all around him as he charged past Riza and Havoc who just came in and he slammed into the door, and again and again and again with the cries of pain from Edward and screams from his confused subordinates and his own voice screaming to live, and not to use the stupid razor he left in there to stab yourself, and crying and screeching, and sweat and pounding hearts, and tears and slamming, and panic and suddenly with one last ram into the door-

He was in.

**CHAPTER 2**

Roy stood momentarily in the doorway; shocked. Edward was resting on the wall near the far side of the bathroom, with a busted wine bottle in his hand, and a massive gash in his abdomen.

"Fullmetal...holy shit, Fullmetal..." was all he could say. His eyes scanned the wound in his youngest subordinates abdomen, analyzing every individual cut to see just how serious Edward was about killing himself. He discovered that, for an expert on the human body, Edward was quite unsuccessful in his attempt of suicide: The gash was angled toward his hip bone more than his actual stomach, so it was unlikely that he could have done much damage at all.

Mustang was at a loss for words. "Fullmetal...how could you..how could you do this to yourself...after all you promised your brother-"

"What do you know, you...you..." Edward struggled with a name to call Roy, forgetting his usual nickname of "bastard".

The two stared at one another, not a challenge present in Edward's eyes; only pure defeat. He stretched his mechanical arm out to the bottle again, but the Colonel harshly kicked it away from his hand. Edward glared up at him, repeating again, "What. Do. You. Know?!"

The Colonel's chin dipped in shame, but nevertheless, he let his voice rise (something he normally didn't do): "What do I know?! I know what it's like to want it all to end, Edward, I know how it feels to want to die!" Mustang hollered, treading to Edward's broken, disheveled body, grabbing him by the collar and pulling his face up to his own. "Do you have any idea, of just how horrible it is to murder people, to set innocent people on _fire_, because you are told to?!"

The two continued to stare in what seemed like mutual understanding, until Edward gritted his teeth, muttering again, "What do you know".

Roy clenched his fists at his sides, dropping Edward to the floor, and stared down at him with all the emotion from Ishval blazing in his onyx eyes. "I know, Edward. I told you this, because I know you weren't trying to die."

_You weren't ready to die._

_You didn't WANT to die._

Riza and Havoc, (who'd had their own struggle to bust down the colonel's door), moved to Mustang's side, confusedly stealing a glance from the Colonel. He didn't acknowledge them out of embarrassment to admitting his suicide attempt to the subordinates who were supposed to look up to him. Riza couldn't help but feel her eyes fill with tears at the thought of Roy's weakness, seeing these two strong people having a terrible emotional breakdown right under her nose. _And I was supposed to protect him..._

"Edward," began the pained Colonel, "Edward...I know what it's like to want to die...and when you wish to die, you sit shocked...wishing to be prepared to kill yourself; are on an emotional roller coaster the whole time, 'should I or shouldn't I'...it's the only thought running through your mind." He was forced to stop for a moment, to avoid a voice crack, or anything that would reveal just how horrified he was by Edward's actions. "I know, Edward...that _that_ wasn't your intention. You weren't set on dying. I know you could never leave this world without fulfilling your goal..." and the Colonel felt a smile play across his lips, "you're too stubborn. And you wouldn't ever pity yourself enough to die."

The room fell dead silent. The uncomfortable staring contest between the Colonel and Edward stopped when Edward dipped his gaze down at the gash he'd carved into himself. Havoc was the first person to speak up. "But, Colonel, he's all beat up. W-what exactly happened in here, if he wasn't suicidal?"

Edward's bangs fell limply over his face in a failing attempt to hide his emotions. "I just-it's not fair", he concluded, as though everyone in the room knew what the Hell he was talking about.

Then he continued; "It's not fair that... that Alphonse is stuck in that cold, metal body when it's all my fault to begin with. He didn't even want to transmute mom, he even tried to stop me! But...but now he's the one who paid the biggest price, and carries my burden. It's just not equivalent exchange."

The Colonel stared at his hands, not knowing what to say, even though it was the stupidest statement he'd ever heard. "So...you hurt yourself...in an attempt to make your pain equal to Al's."

There was no response from Edward, until Riza said, "So then...where's Alphonse?"

And Edward's face lit up. "I...I just... failed him again. I failed to turn him back to normal." He gripped the side of the bath tub, and pushed himself up, using the wall as support. "I have to find him, and tell him I'm sorry...(!) And ask him-"

"Woah, Chief, you're not sober yet." Said Havoc. "Do you know where he is?"

"Uh..."He seemed lost, but then his eyes lit with determination. "I know where he went...I'm sure of it." He said.

"Well, that's great and all...but will there be a fight?" Everyone looked at each other questionably.

"No," concluded Edward, "he's by the river."

**CHAPTER 3**

CHAPTER 3~

Edward stumbled out the bathroom door, landing face down onto Roy's apartment carpet. The entire team stood staring at the boy for a while before Riza remembered that he was _on the floor_, and she scooped him to his feet, all the time mumbling about how the stupid men were too dense to help the poor kid up.

"Edward", she began to question, supporting him by his shoulders, "I'm happy you know that your brother is at a river, but where will you find a river in Central..?" Edward looked up at the fan above him with a blank, non processing look on his face. That's when Roy felt the need to speak up.

"There's one way on the outskirts of Central, it'll take us about 45 minutes to get there, by car. So Havoc, go find us one."

"Yes boss." he responded in his unusually upbeat tone.

The car ride was hell...Riza was forced to be the driver, which was always terrible in Central City because of the traffic...but that was not the problem this morning. It was only 4 am, and she was exhausted; in fact, Roy sat in the passengers seat beside her, napping, while she was trying her absolute hardest not to fall asleep.

On the other hand, Havoc possibly had it the worst- he was forced to sit in the back seat with the drunken' Fullmetal Alchemist, who at the time was drooling on his uniform, moaning in his sleep. Havoc was stuck with the same fatigue as Riza, only with a drunk kid drooling on him as well.

Once Riza angrily pulled over near the river, she jostled the car around a few times so the two sleeping men bashed their heads onto the windows, waking them from their slumber.

"Ow..." groaned Edward, clutching a new bruise on his forehead.

"Well, where's your brother, Edward?" demanded Hawkeye, rubbing her eyes.

"He's over there," said Mustang, already 3 steps ahead of Edward who was still focused on finding the river. "Well, let's go tell him what happened, everyone-"

"NO!" yelled Ed, who now grabbed Roy's arm to prevent him from leaving the car.

"Why's that, Fullmetal?" he responded in a calm, amused tone.

"I just..." he began, gaze drifting to the floor of the car. "Just don't...I don't want him to-"

"To know you got drunk, Chief?" chimed Havoc, earning a glare from Ed.

"Yeah."

"Well how are you supposed to make amends with your brother if he doesn't know what happened?"

"Look guys..." Ed started, each word slurred slowly, "you wouldn't understand...I just want to look after my little brother, and I haven't done a very good job so far. Just let me be the strong one for him to look up to...I've failed him enough already." he said, a painful voice crack on the last part. The team sat in silence, until Roy decided to accept his subordinates wishes.

"Fine, Fullmetal, we won't say anything about your..._issue_, but you have to let us help you find him."

"Alright." rasped Edward.

Havoc agreed to stay by the car, while Riza and Roy set out along the river shore line to find Alphonse. Edward looked out at the sun rise, seeing a suit of armor gleaming in the light of the sun. He ran toward it, avoiding tears falling down his cheeks, and stopped directly behind the figure.

Al turned to face his older brother. "Are you here to tell me I'm fake, Ed?! Because I know I'm running out of _time_ to be your little follower!"

Neither Hawkeye, Mustang, or Edward understood what Alphonse meant by 'running out of time', but nevertheless, Ed spoke up.

"Al, I'd never tell you you're fake..."

"You're right Ed, because you want me to keep helping you find your arm and leg! You created a fake Alphonse for your own selfish needs! How could you...how could you make all of that up...!" Al trailed off, feeling absolute sorrow in his words, remembering his mother and all of the memories with Winry and Ed in Resembool.

Edward moved beside his brother, trying his hardest not to trip on the way, and stood, looking up at the little brother he loved so much.

"Al, I could never make all of that up... are you telling me that everything you remember, with you, and me, and Winry in Resembool, making trouble and running until we fell inside of the river was all just made up..? Are you telling me you don't believe that you were crying your eyes out by mom's grave, just to be fooled by me into bringing back the dead..? Are you saying you don't BELIEVE that you and I would stay up all night after night planning equations and indulging in alchemy so we could go back to the life we used to have?! Do you think that I don't really sincerely want to make you normal again, that my only wish is to get back my old limbs and that I don't become a useless pawn to the military because I love you and want you to be happy again?! HUH..?! Al, do you really believe that you were never Alphonse Elric, a sweet little boy who was dear to Mom, Winry, all your old friends, and that you never were my beloved little brother...? Do you think I could really make all of that up?"

At that point everyone went quiet. Riza and Roy were frozen with uncertainty of what to say, the silent understanding passing between both of the brothers.

"Then let me ask you this, brother..." began Alphonse in a quiet, boyish voice... "What were you afraid to tell me that day in the hospital... why wouldn't you say anything when I accused you of making me up?"

"It's because...it's because..." Edward stammered on the verge of tears... "It's because I wanted to know something... I wanted to know if you hate me for what I did to you, Al...and I'm still afraid of asking, to this day."

Nobody moved. Edward tried to keep his lower lip from trembling. Alphonse felt his metal heart break in two.

"Brother...I don't hate you...and...I want to go back now."

The two stared at each other, wanting to hug but both knowing that Edward would hate it if Mustang saw him and his brother hug. So they simply smiled at each other knowingly, chatting lightly all the way back to the car.

Unfortunately, Alphonse knew something was lurking in the shadows behind the blood seal. Only, his older brother was not ready to face it.

**CHAPTER 4**

It had been a month since Roy had found Ed drunk.

And the two boys were acting _weird._

One time, they'd been in his office getting their next lead for the stone. This was normal, but the strange part was that Alphonse just collapsed on the floor...

Everyone panicked, including Edward, until the kid woke up suddenly and said that he must have been exhausted from journeying around so much.

To most, this would have been ordinary, acceptible... but Al's an empty suit of armor.

And last time Roy checked, armor didn't get_tired._

That was when Roy's suspicions began, really; he was curious as to why Edward had just nodded his head solemley at Alphonse's lie, and how absolutely ridiculous the sentimate was.

What, did they think Roy was stupid..?!

But, as said, that was just the beginning; for not only was Alphonse acting _weird, _Edward was as well.

For example, this one time he was on his way to the office to give Roy his report, and Mustang watched him walk right by the building. After he passed, Roy thought he must have been trying to avoid the paperwork that surely would come, but then the kid just _stopped._

He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, turned around and entered his office.

And when he was in the office, he was stumbling around like he was...

like he was _still drunk__._

But that wasn't it; whenever he gave Roy the reports, or just picked up his next mission, he didn't have a single complaint; he didn't say one word to Mustang, and didn't seem to have any sense of balance. He'd trip and stumble like an old man, and sometimes, he'd lean against the ebony desk for support.

It. Was. _Weird._

Riza Hawkeye poked her head into the office door, addressing the Colonel with the most respect she had in her voice.

"Sir, Edward is here to see you."

Mustang was shocked, to say the least; Ed's report was due next week, and Ed usually found excuses to stay _away_ from the Colonel; like he was some sort of contagious disease that should be avoided.

"...Send him in, I guess."

Riza cocked her head, sensing the question in his voice. She stepped aside to let Ed and his larger, younger brother through the doorway.

"Fullmetal, it's so nice of you to grace me with your presence, what brings you here today?" Roy said with the most smug and sarcastic tone he could muster, trying to get a rise out of the kid as best as he could.

And yet, _nothing._

"My report. Have any leads?" He stated flatly, then asking the question as anxiously as possible. Al's suit trembled softly, for Roy could hear the slightest tinkling of metal on metal. The armor sat on the couch in a relaxed looking position that had Roy wondering; Al was always as respectful as possible toward the Colonel, yet the way he was sitting...

"I don't have any leads for you this time" Roy said, then added, "But you can research in the library, I hear there's a whole new stock of books on the origin of myths."

Ed shook his head in disappointment, and slowly turned to leave the room.

"Wait," the man protested, "I need a word with you two."

Ed went ridged, and turned again to face Roy.

"What exactly is going on with you two lately? Al is keeling over abnormally because he's a suit of armor, and Ed- you're not acting yourself."

Neither of the two spoke, but Ed stole a glance at his little brother. Al nodded at him, armor creaking.

There was a short silence that couldn't have been louder.

"Well?!" demanded Roy, losing patience.

"You know how Al's soul and armor are connected through the bloodseal, right?" asked Ed shakily, softly..._unfittingly_.

"Yes, and..?"

Ed couldn't continue, so he turned away solemly.

"My bloodseal is failing, Colonel." Al softly stated.

Roy breathed in, understanding what this meant.

Al was dying.

It was that same night when Roy had dismissed them that he decided he wasn't finished yet.

Riza entered the office with another one of her blank looks on her face, saying to Roy "He didn't go to their dorm."

The Colonel was aware that the dorms were the same direction as the library, so Riza was not making any sense.

"Lieutenant, I don't understand; clarify."

"I wasn't done, sir." She said, "Al went to the dorm; but Ed didn't."

Mustang knew she was suspicious; she was acting too unreadable. She was trying to imply that he should check on them, and he always trusted Riza's judgement.

"Will you watch the office while I'm gone, Lieutenant?"

"Yes, sir." She didn't bother saluting to him, because her arms were already full of papers.

Roy walked the opposite way of Ed's dorm; searching for a head of blonde hair and a brash looking jacket. Of course, with that kind of outfit to search for somebody, it was an easy spot.

_There he is._

Roy decided that he'd follow the boy wherever it was he was going, having no idea why he was so concerned but nevertheless wanting to prove Hawkeye's suspicious wrong.

But, he was not so lucky.

When Ed turned onto street after street, Mustang found himself getting lost, not being able to identify exactly where he was at the moment he was there. He was lost, and wondered if Ed was too.

But it didn't seem so, since Edward's pace didn't lag, and didn't quicken as though to lose him.

However, Roy became extremely unsure when the kid turned onto a small, dark ally-way. And Roy had a clue about what he was doing back there.

It was then that he heard the conversation:

"Hey, kid it's you again; need another bunch?" The man spoke with a heavy street accent, and his voice was deep and manly.

"Yeah," responded Ed's light, higher voice, "I need some dope, and I'll have a shot right now."

_He's doing drugs...and he's drinking. He's so depressed that he's swallowing his feelings and getting high._

"Okay, how much 'ya want, two bottles good with you?"

"No," Roy interjected, stepping into the ally and getting a look of surprise (though not pleasant) from Ed, and disgust from the dealer. "Fullmetal, I want you in my office right now." he demanded, pointing his finger out of the alley way and staring him down.

Ed scowled back.

"Hey, kid, I thought you said you ain't got no parents, huh?! That we wouldn't get caught, now?" The man seemed a bit irritated to say the least, and hit his face so Mustang wouldn't be able to report him. But that face was burned into his mind forever.

"He's not my _dad."_ Ed drew out the last syllible and turned to face Roy in a way that expressed 'you're not the boss of me'.

"_Now"_ Roy commanded, shooting him a look back that said, 'I _am_ the boss of you'.

Ed rolled his eyes, turning to the dealer to express a look of apology and annoyance. He then pulled out his wallet as though he was just going to ignore the Colonel and continue on with his business.

"Fullmetal! You obey your surperior officer's orders, now get into my office or I'll court-martial you!" He shouted.

"Tsk, you can't court-martial me, it's after hours." Edward mocked him in a way that really crawled under the man's skin, earning a chuckle of approval from the dealer, who whispered something to Ed, handed him two bottles of substance and a needle of some kind.

"I most certainly can arrest you for this, Fullmetal; those drugs are illegal to sell or to carry, and if I accuse you of that there are a series of exams that can prove me right."

Ed then froze, glancing at the dealer, knowing this would get both of them in trouble if he let this happen, and decided to hand the drugs back to him.

The action had his hands shaking from a withdraw.

But if Ed got himself and the dealer in trouble, it would be difficult to get himself the drugs he wanted and he'd be under constant survaillance, which could lead to Al being found out. Or worse; he could run out of time.

He nodded at the dealer and walked toward the Colonel in an irritating way, but still looking both guilty and...

_Humiliated?_

"In my office, now."

"Heard you the first time."

"How could you _associate _with them, Fullmetal?! How could you just _throw yourself away_? What are you thinking?!"

The questions were pouring out of Mustang's angered mouth before Ed had a chance to answer them: they were getting thrown at him so fast he couldn't think of a way to weasel his way out of trouble.

"Look, Colonel, it's none of your business anyway. I've been doing my work and the drugs haven't been affecting your life in any way."

This caused Mustang to bristle, because he was right; they weren't causing any trouble to anybody but himself. What Ed did shouldn't concern him, and it was extremely difficult to come up with a sufficient excuse for him caring about what happened to Ed.

"I don't want to hear it, Fullmetal." Was all he could come up with. "You're going to stop this behavior right now, you hear me?!"

"I hear you, but I'm still not listening."

_Nice._

"I'm going to get you a set of bodyguards, Edward...and you're not going to be able to get away this time. Shape up, Edward."He scowled at his comment, and simply stood up and sucked up to his Colonel.

"I apologize, _sir," _he said, bowing in a way that only he could make disrespectful. "it won't happen again."

At this, Roy dismissed Ed.

But he knew it wasn't over.

**Chapter 5  
**

By the time Roy had lost his willpower to hold back, they were ready to talk.

Edward and Alphonse, that is.

He'd given them a swiftly spoken call of "get over here", and the two had stomped their way to his office.

Roy was tired of overlooking how strange Al'd been acting: the shuddering, the lack of speaking...But moreover, what he'd seen Edward buy.

Edward had bought drugs from a dealer on the streets of Central, and worse, right after the colonel himself had a meeting with the teen.

The two stood awkwardly in front of him, while he sat curiously behind his mohoghony desk. Edward shifted impatiently, while Alphonse stumbled for a minute, earning him a sorry look from a concerned Edward. Roy simply observed the two until they noticed he was watching, to which Edward rolled his eyes and Alphonse rubbed the back of his helmet out of sheer embarrassment.

"Alphonse." Roy began, not knowing how to put exactly what he was feeling despite the fact that over the past four days it'd been all he'd thought about; he considered how this conversation would go a thousand times over, weighing his options of approach carefully, inspecting the different responses the boys would have and cautiously planning his words. Yet still, he'd come up with no solutions to which they'd simply be honest with him.

That was just how difficult these two could be...

"I need to speak with the two of you in private."

...And Roy wouldn't have them any other way.

Edward's knees were locked as tightly as his mouth: No matter what kind of authority the Colonel had over him, he'd keep quiet about the issues he was struggling with, knowing that one utter of a word would have himself figured out, and Mustang diving strait into his problems, indulging himself in the sorrow the two were feeling.

He could only hope that Alphonse understood.

"I need to speak with the two of you in private."

Al nodded politely beside him, though both of them knew the movement would cause him to shutter with the response.

Edward silently wondered how Mustang would start this little conversation: The last time Edward had seen him was when he was caught with his Sugarman; his dealer. He remembered sourly how he didn't obtain any of his usual stuff, how bitter that week was because his boss had gotten involved in his business.

And he could only imagine how disappointed Roy was in him.

_Wait, why the Hell do I care what he thinks?!_

Edward's emotions had been on a roller coaster that week: It all started when he and Al reunited. He'd noticed Al was acting strange even before Roy had, though since Alphonse was his little brother, Ed was always the first to notice such things. He'd seen the shuttering, the constant stammer of words in his voice and his silence. Sometimes, he'd stare off in the distance when he'd mentioned his research to get their bodies back, and once Al had even questioned whether getting his body back was even possible.

_"Of course it is, Al! We've been over this, remember? You got all pissed at me because you thought you were fake and stuff..."_

_"I know, brother, but...what if I return to my body...and I'm already dead?"_

"Edward," Roy continued, "I need to know if Alphonse is aware of our confrontation last week... you know the one."

Of course he knew the one, and of course Al didn't know...how could he possibly tell Alphonse that he was...well, that he'd almost killed himself? Al knew that he meant the world to Ed, but how could he tell his little brother that without him, he'd rather die?

_"Al, you still in there..? You haven't turned the page in about five minutes."_

_"..."_

_"...Al?"_

"Edward, please speak up: there's a reason I called you two here, and though I don't wish to admit it, I'm a bit worried about the two of you."

_"Al, you're freaking me out..."_

_"..."_

_"Please say something."_

_"..."_

_"If you're trying to scare me, it's not working."_

_"..."_

_"...Okay, fine it's working: You win. Now just talk to me."_

_"..."_

"Fullmetal, I'm not sure you understand that the buying and selling you're taking part in is a crime, and that you could lose all research funding if it's found out. Right now, you're in no position to lie to me, or stay silent. Speak up."

...Yes, he was on an emotional roller coaster indeed; it was after he'd had a long, depressing conversation with Alphonse, that he'd discovered his Sugerman, that he'd discovered the shortcut to happiness:

_"...A-"_

_"AH!"_

_"Al! Are you okay in there? Did you space out?"_

_"I...I'm sorry, brother."_

"Alphonse, do you know of Edward's whereabouts? Do you know what he's been buying?"

-The shortcut to happiness, was getting high.

_"Sorry for what? Scarin' me?!"_

_"No...I just-I...I have something to tell you."_

"Alphonse, speak up. Edward, I'm going to have to tell Alphonse of our confrontation if you don't speak up and tell me exactly why the two of you have been so strange lately."

_"What? What do you have to say?"_

_"...I just-"_

"Brother." Alphonse said softly, snapping Edward back from his jumbled thoughts of the past, his mind wandering back to reality. He glanced at Al, catching his soul-filled eyes that expressed the deepest sorrow. Alphonse looked as though he was desperate, for some reason.

"Al-"

"I-I think we should t-tell him, Brother. There's no point in hiding it, since he'll find out eventually." Al's voice was timid, the quietness making Edward strain his ears to listen; it was a trick Al tended to use on him often as a way to make him shut up. But this time was different: This time he used this voice to show how strongly he felt about telling Roy the truth.

Edward's gaze fell to the floor below him. Deep inside, he understood where Al was coming from, that he was only concerned for his older brother, and that either way Mustang would find out.

_"I just-"_

_"...you just what, Al?"_

_"I just...Brother, I'm..."_

_"...I'm..."_

_"I-"_

"I'm dying, Colonel Mustang." Alphonse said, a small voice within a massive suit. The words, no matter how quiet, were heard clearly though Roy had strained to hear them...and they pierced him strait in the heart. Edward's forehead creased with the anguish that came from Al's honesty, the powerlessness he felt when he realized there was nothing he could do.

_"I'm dying, Ed."_

"What..." Mustang trailed off, his own voice softening as he took Al's words to heart, realizing that no matter how long he'd planned this conversation, that no matter how many answers he'd expected to receive from this confrontation, he could never be prepared for those two words.

_"W-what do you mean, Al? Do you mean that we're all dying, like, philosophically?"_

_"No, Brother... I'm dying, right here, right now."_

"H-how, Alphonse...how is that possible?" The colonel's eyes became glazed, his normally smug face conjuring into a sorry, blank look that turned Ed's stomach. His words were slightly muffled by his hands, which he buried in his face.

"My blood seal", Al continued in his small, thread voice, "it's failing."

_"Slowly, but surely, I'm falling apart: I've travelled to The Gait and seen my body..."_

"My real body has already died."

_"It's dying. And once it's dead..."_

"My soul is d-drifting back to its original vessel, so some days are better than others..."

_"...Which is why sometimes I just 'shut down' like that."_

"Any day now I'll just-"

"Stop." Edward interjected, his lip trembling in the resistance of tears: He remembered the first time he'd heard Al's speech, how calm and composed Al said those words, how collected he'd been even though Ed could hear the sadness in his voice. How Al had seemed so ready for death, as though it didn't scare him in the least.

But, even worse, was how Edward himself broke down: How he lost his cool and was brought to tears from his little brother's words, how he was not the one who was dying, and yet was the one who'd fallen apart. For HE was afraid; he was afraid for his little brother. He was afraid of a life without Al.

"I...I don't know what to say." Roy murmured, his voice almost catching from being activated once again, a breath he didn't realize he was holding being released as his mind spun from the questions he had, the questions such as "WHY" that he just wanted to scream to the heavens.

"Yeah." Ed whispered condescendingly, though the two understood it was because he felt so low himself. "There's nothing TO say. It's over."

And he stormed from the room like a wild hurricane of emotions, Al following subtly behind.

...And Roy was left to bundle his own whirlwind of emotions inside.

**A/N: OK GUYS! These are the original authors ****jmtothemusics work**

**I will be posting an uptade very soon!**

**Now that its break I can get some work done!**

**ENJOY!**

**-SCARMASK WARRIOR!**


	2. Chapter 2 (6)

**AN: OK SO THIS IS MY FIRST ORIGINAL CHAPTER FOR THIS FIC WRITEN BY ME!**

**GONNA BE TIGHT AS A SHOE LACE YALL (such street, many thug, so life, wow) **

**LETS BEGIN SHALL WE?**

The day had finally come, well, it actually came about 2 weeks prior to Mustang and his team finding out.

They had lost contact with Edward in those two weeks, and they will always regret it.

Now, they all sit around a hospital bed, a bed holding none other than the Full metal Alchemist. Apparently the land lord had heard no noise from the apartment for quite some time. When he went to go check he found the blonde boy emaciated, and his arms covered in track marks.

"You think the kid tried to kill himself?" Breda asked quietly, it may have been a depression induced overdose but with the events that have previously occurred all fingers pointed to suicide attempt.

"The Chief is stronger than that, right?" Havoc questioned his voice weakening as his sentence ended. Roy looked down upon the boy, he looked so pale, his cheekbones jaunting out of his face due to lack of food.

"What's going to happen when he wakes up?" Feury whispered; it was the question on every ones mind; where would the boy go?

"Well to a suicide ward probably. I mean where else?" Roy responded, getting angry glares from his subordinates.

"We can't just let that happen!" Havoc said, angrily. He received nods from the other members of his team.

"Well, than you take him." Roy replied nonchalantly. He pretended not to care, but knew that he would not be able to help the boy.

"Maybe I will!" Shouted a very determined Havoc; and that's exactly what happened, once Edward was awake and able to leave the hospital he went to stay with Havoc.

~Line Break~

"-And this is the guest room, well, I guess it's your room for a bit now." Havoc said, showing Edward his house.

"Thanks…." Edward replied quietly, his loud demeanor gone since he had awoken in the Hospital. He visibly flinched when the man put his hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, you're part of the family, and we take care of our own" Havoc said softly, something about his voice made Edward smile softly.

He walked away and left Edward to unpack his things and get comfortable. The boy placed his suitcase on the bed and began to unpack his clothes.

Beforehand Havoc had asked him for all of his needles and blades, the hospital wouldn't even allow him painkillers in fear of him trying to OD again.

Edward frowned, he honestly doesn't remember if it was intentional or not, he just wanted to get away.

Once he finished putting his clothes in the closet and drawers Edward walked toward the living room.

"So what do teenagers do?" Havoc asked as Edward took a seat on the couch. Edward shrugged, he had no clue.

"You're asking the wrong kid, I didn't get to be a teenager, remember?" Edward replied; Havoc frowned.

"Well there isn't any use staying here all night, let's go get some dinner." Havoc decided getting up and walking to his room, no doubt to change into civilian clothes. Edward waited a moment and decided to do the same.

(Line break)

Sitting in the restaurant Havoc noted the boys' change of attire. His leather coat swapped for a normal white shirt, with an unbuttoned long sleeve shirt to give a layered affect.

"I never took you as a kid who liked blue thing Chief" Havoc mused; Edward shrugged him off and replied.

"Well, my mom always liked blue, but it reminded Al of her, so I didn't wear it all that much…" Havoc swallowed hard, he didn't expect that kind of answer.

"Well, we should probably decide what to order before the waitress comes back." Havoc says trying to lighten the mood; he and Ed look at the menus in silence.

"What can I get you two?" The waitress asked, she was blonde haired blue eyed, the typical Amestrian.

"I'll have the burger with fries please." Havoc said, normally the man would flirt, but deciding not too around Edward.

"And you?" The waitress asked, Edward looked unprepared, and then he mumbled something about me too, and went back to playing with the button on his sleeve.

The waitress jotted down the orders and walked away. Edward mumbled something about going to use the bathroom, got up; Havoc saw this as the opportunity to take a smoke. He reached into his pocket for the carton of cancer sticks and his lighter. Though among further searching he found his lighter missing.

"I know I had it…." Havoc mumbled to himself searching his other pockets. In a moment of epiphany he thought of something. He had all of Edwards needles, did the boy _smoke _too?

Havoc shot up and made his way to the bathroom, which he found empty, he then looked out the back door. The faintest smell of weed made its way through.

"Dammit!" He said as he burst through the door, he saw Edward sitting up, probably in shock of being found out.

"Chief, are you serious!?" Havoc demanded, taking the blunt and lighter away from the boy. Edward shot up in a desperate attempt to get it.

"No wait, it was just one, it wouldn't hurt!" The boy begged. His eyes only slightly bloodshot.

Havoc stamped out the bud and pocketed the lighter. "What were you thinking? You're still a minor, and this stuff is illegal!" He growled at the boy, pulling him by his arm back into the diner.

They sat and ate in an aggravated silence. The silence only grew stronger as they drove home.

(Line Break)

Edward stood under the cold shower; he had messed up, _again_.

He had been so desperate for any sort of high, he didn't hesitate to use one of his blunts. Of course now he had none of them because Havoc made him give them all over to him.

As Ed turned off the shower he could hear Havoc in the other room.

"I just….. Smoking….. Useless….. Weed… help" It was broken but Edward mentally filled in the blanks, he was probably talking to The Colonel, telling him how his weakest subordinate had messed up again.

Edward walked into his room and closed the door, he felt so stupid, if he was anything but useless Alphonse would have been here; and then they'd probably be in Resembool with Winry and they would all be happy.

But Alphonse was dead; it was his entire fault…

He closed his eyes, and wished things could go back to the way they were, but he knew from experience he could never go back. The past was unobtainable; and he knew that.

Edward got into his pajamas and cried himself to sleep.

**AN: OK THAT'S IT! **

**I hope you all liked my first of many chapters for this story, I know not as good as the original but I'm trying! So please feel free to follow and review, but lets' keep the corrections down to 3 each.**


	3. Chapter 3 (7)

Rizas pen scribbles on the paper, it was one of the only noises in the office.

Havoc, and the others, had gone to lunch; and the Colonel was in the back room.

Riza looked over at Edward, they never really made use of the desk set up for him, but now he seemed to be sulking.

"Edward..." Riza called softly, she figured now would be a good time to address the matter at hand.

**(Flash back)**

"Hello?" Riza asked answering her phone, it was about 9:30 at night; and in fear of it being a drunk Colonel again, she didn't hesitate to pick up.

"Hawkeye? It's Havoc." The other end of the phone replied through the static.

"What's wrong?" Riza asked, no doubt this was about Edward.

"I just caught the kid smoking." He stated, making Riza gasp.

"I know, I didn't even realize he got my lighter until it was to late! I feel so useless!" Havoc continued.

"You caught him smoking cigarettes? How'd he get a hold of them?" She questioned.

"Not my cigarettes, I caught him smoking weed." He answered, Riza blushed a bit, that probably made more sense.

After a moment of just static, Riza gave her response.

"What if I take him for a bit? I know you, you have lighters and matches all over the house. It'll give you a few days to smoke proof the place?"

"That's a good idea, can you tell him tomorrow? I think he's going to go to bed after his shower." Havoc replied, the sound in his voice full of relief.

"Of course." Riza replied, her voice a little unsure.

"Thanks Hawkeye; for the help." He said before they exchanged goodbyes and hung up their respecter phones.

**(End Flashback)**

"Edward?" She called again, this time the boy looked up; he looked so tired.

"Y-Yea?" He stuttered, his voice weak; it made Riza wonder if it had hurt for him to raise it when he used to.

"Havoc called me last night. We need to talk..." She said getting a scared look from the boy. He opened his mouth a few times before giving a reply.

"Lieutenant, I-I'm - I didn't - I wasn't-" He said quickly, his eyes darting between Rizas gun and making she contact. she felt a pang in her chest; did the boy really believe she would actually use this on one of her team members?

"Havoc and I both agreed..." She said trailing off a bit "Both agreed that you should come live with me for a bit."

Edwards eyes held nothing but sheer defeat. He opened his mouth, but then closed it; in favor of simply replying with a nod.

Riza smiled a bit, and patted the blondes head. She walked back to her seat and continued writing.

Later that night, Riza and Edward got home.

"I don't have much room... But the couch is big enough for you, and I have an empty closet in the living room as well." She said unlocking her front door.

The first thing to happen was a very happy Black Hayate greet them.

Edward smiled a bit, and got down to pet the small dog.

That was the weird thing about animals, even when you're sad they'll do anything to make you happy.

"I'm going to go make some dinner, ok?" She announced and then went to do so. Edward knew this house a bit so he wouldn't get lost on his way to the living room.

Edward, plopped down onto the couch, and curled in in himself. He was so fucking worthless! Havoc, the man who took him in couldn't even stand a week of the boy!

"I'm so worthless..." He whispered, he should be dead, he should have died instead of Alphonse.

Edward heard a whimper from the little dog as he looked at him worriedly. Edward scooped him up and snuggled in to his fur, which the dog allowed.

"Why can't I be a good dog like you?" Edward asked, receiving a few licks to the arm in response.

Riza looked through the doorway, the scene that just played out broke her heart. She had to find a way to cheer the boy up. Getting an idea , she quickly ran to the phone to call up a few other people.

This idea would no doubt help the boy.

**AN: Ok that's it for this chapter! I have the wattpad app, it lets me write on my phone so I can then copy and paste it here! I know this one is probably shorter than the other but I'm just on a role and decided to end it here! Don't forget to Review! And Fave this story if you get the chance!**


	4. Chapter 4 (8)

Edward awoke to the smell of pancakes, he rolled over toward the door leading to the kitchen.

After maybe 20 minutes of enjoying the smell he got up to investigate. When he got to the kitchen he saw the majority of Mustangs squad in there.

"Morning kid" Breda said, as he scooted over so the boy could sit.

"Oh Edward you're awake!" Riza said happily as she placed a plate of pancakes in front of the boy.

"What's everyone doing here?" Edward asked quietly, not touching the pancakes.

"Well we all decided to take today off, we're going to do something today." She replied, pushing the pancakes closer to him.

"Oh... Where, are you all going?" Edward asked, he sounded miserable.

"Well, we, including you, are going to go to the zoo." Fuery stated. The boy looked at them confused. Riza frowned.

"Yep, and we're leaving soon to pick up the others, so eat your pancakes and go get dressed." She stated handing the boy the fork that was next to the plate.

"Hell. No." Roy yawned angrily. Riza told him he was getting the day off last night, but he would have went to work if he had known he would have had to get up early anyway.

"Come on Boss, the Chief needs all of us to be there for him." Havoc pleaded with the man. How he even got into Roys home baffled the black haired man.

"I don't need to take the kid to the zoo! Something's bound to go wrong!" He replies angrily. He was almost 100% sure that something would go wrong.

"Well then you can get dressed for work! Because it's either that or this!" Havoc shouted angrily. He has been feeling awful since yesterday, when the boy refused to look at him when he returned from lunch.

After a moment of silence, Roy let out an angry sigh and went upstairs to get dressed.

Within a half an hour a town car pulled up with Breda, Riza, Feury, and Edward inside.

"Morning sir." Riza said as the two men entered the car. Havoc tried saying hello to Ed, but the boy refused to acknowledge him.

"To the zoo? Really?" Roy grumbled as he fastened his seatbelt. No one noticing the down trodden look on Edwards face. Of course the colonel wouldn't want to be there, Riza probably threatened them all. Even herself was only there to make Edward recover faster so they can get rid of him.

The car ride was quiet, no one talked except for the occasional question toward Edward, they all went unanswered.

-  
Roy was a man of science. He never believed in the supernatural.

But now he was convinced that he was a psychic.

Not long after they walked into the zoo did things begin to deteriorate. Somehow, at the petting zoo area, a cow got out and continuously followed Edward. Unaware of the oncoming steer, the boy went to read the sign by a spider exhibit in the insect house. The cow followed but on its way, it knocked over a display of an egg sac holding 4000 fire ant eggs. People began getting bitten and went into panics, which frightened the cow and made it reer up. Breaking the glass on a millipede exhibit. The Zoo had to be closed, and it took 4 hours to round up the cow, no doubt this will make the papers tomorrow.

"I'm sorry..." Ed said, his voice windy, almost to low to be heard. Roy sat in the front of the car, arms crossed. He was one of the people the fire ants attacked.

"It's ok Edward, you didn't know." Riza soothed. Pulling up to Roys house, she let the man out, he was the last one of the crew to be dropped off.

Once he was out the two drove away.

"Lieutenant... I'm sorry I'm so useless." The boy apologized desperately. Riza sat down on the couch next to him and pulled him into a hug.

"It's not your fault sweetie..." She whispered as she stroked his hair. The boy began to tremble.

" , could I maybe be alone for a bit?" Edward asked, his voice shaky. Riza nodded and went to get up, but instead Edward got up and walked into the bathroom.

Riza frowned, this wouldn't have happened if she hadn't suggested the day off. She decided to tell Edward one last time, through the door.

When she got up she felt lighter, which made her panic. Her gun was gone.

When Edward was little he remembered being quite a good trickster. Often taking things and putting them somewhere else with out the people even realizing.

He was surprised at how easy it was to take the lieutenants gun.

He was so useless, he couldn't even enjoy a day at the zoo without breaking something. He didn't deserve to live.

"Edward?" Riza asked, making the boy jump.

"Y-Yea?" He asked, hiding the gun. Riza then said something about calling the Colonel to see if she left her gun there, and walked upstairs.

Edward let out a sigh and took the gun back out. He knew enough about them to do the job.

Little did he know the second he loaded the barrel, the lieutenant would open the bathroom door.

"Edward!" She gasped as she saw the gun, pointed to his head. He looked up at her, in sheer defeat.

"I can't even do this right." He whispered as she took the gun away from him. His eyes began to water as Riza walked to put the gun away. She came back to find the boy curled up and weeping.

She honestly didn't know what to do, she was in a panic.

"Edward... Don't, just, why?" She asked in a mess of emotions. She had at least 3 guns hidden around the house. There was no way of knowing if he would find them or not.

She sighed and pulled the boy into her arms.

**AN: Ok! Another chapter! I am loving how smoothly this is all coming along! I may even be able to finish it before New Years! **

**Dont forget to review**

**- Scarmask! **


	5. Chapter 5 (9)

**OK GUYS IM SO SORRY BUT DONT WORRY IM BACK! **

"Colonel, please hear me out." Riza begged for the umpteenth time that morning. Roy shook his head and gave her an angry look.

"No, Lieutenant I am not taking the boy. You're doing just fine!"

"He tried to kill himself!" She whispered harshly. Which got Roys attention.

"Come again?" He asked.

Edward sat in the office feeling like garbage. Havoc gave up on him, now Hawkeye was probably telling Roy to send him away. Who else would take him?

Edward winced as he heard his stomach growl, he hadn't eaten since yesterday morning.

"Hey Cheif, are you hungry?" Havoc asked. Edward curled up on himself more and didn't answer. He heard Havoc let out a sigh.

"C'mon kid, if your hungry you should eat..." Breda commented, getting the same reaction. Edward didn't want to eat, he was suffering major withdrawal and wanted to die.

Suddenly the door opened Hawkeye walked out, followed by The Colonel.

"Fullmetal, we need to talk." He said opening the door wider to his office. At first Edward didn't move, but then he eventually got up and walked inside the office.

Once he heard the door close, he felt like shit. He shouldn't have come in here. He needs to say something, beat the colonel to the punch.

"Fullmetal-"

"I resign!"

The room was in a dull silence.

"What?" The colonel asked.

"I-I resign, I quit! I'm not your dog anymore so you can't do anything to me!" Edward stammered, his whole body full of nervousness.

"What pray-tell would I do to you?" He asked, a tinge if annoyance in his voice.

"You just wanna get rid of me. I know that, so let me resign so you can be rid of me!" The boy explained further.

Roy was struck with guilt. The boy, who had such potential, such fire, now had absolutely nothing. Just a nervous kid who didn't want to live.

"Sorry fullmetal, I can't let you." Roy said, matter o factly.

"If it's the lieutenant making you just tell her it was me who wanted to!" Edward countered, it sounded like he was bargaining.

"None of us want to get rid of you Edward." Roy stated. Edward let out a sad chuckle.

"Of corse you want to." He whispered "You just want me to go away, go to some suicide ward or orphanage."

Silence blanketed the room. Roy stared at Edward as he began to tremble, a single tear making its way down his face followed by much more.

"You just want me to die. I deserve it too, I couldn't even protect my family."

At this the colonel sprung up, his chair hitting the wall as he marched over to the boy. Edward looked up a him with terrified eyes as the colonel pulled him into a hug.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry you feel this way Edward. None of us want you dead, were going to help you get better." Roy said as the boy silently cried into his chest.

"I just wanted my mom back..." He whispered tightly, letting more tears fall. Roy raised his hand to rub the boys scalp soothingly, like he had seen Hughes do millions of times for his daughter.

After about a half an hour the boy had fallen asleep. Roy laid him down on one of the couches so he wouldn't hurt his neck.

"Sir?" Riza whispered at about 5:30 it was time to leave. Roy raised his hand and whispered.

"He'll come home with me lieutenant. Have a nice weekend."

Riza smiled and closed the door a little louder than she meant. But it all worked out because the boy was supposed to be awake anyway.

"W-Wha...? Colonel, w-what time is it?" The boy asked sitting up. Roy could tell he must be nervous because of his previous breakdown.

"It's time to go Ed, don't worry. You're gonna stay with me for a while." Roy explained. Edward let his bangs mask his face.

"She couldn't stand me either... huh?" Edward asked, but his question fell on deaf ears. He followed Roy quietly to his car.

"The Lieutenants told me about your outburst." Roy said on the drive home, Edward let out an angry sigh.

"You're disappointed to huh?" He asked, hiding his face behind his bangs.

"...To he honest I am a little upset. You're stronger than this." He admitted as he pulled into his drive way.

Roys house wasn't much for his budget; 2 bedrooms and one bathroom, a small kitchen and a dinning room and a basement he can use for his studies.

He looked in the rear view mirror to see Edwards down castes gaze.

"Let's go inside and continue our talk."


	6. Chapter 6 (10)

Edward sat at a narrow wooden table. His hands wrapped tightly around a solid white mug full of tea.

"It's good right? My foster mother would always make that for me whenever we talked..." Roy says as he takes a sip from his own mug. When Edward didn't respond Roy let out a sigh.

"I can't exactly say I know what you're going through." he admits "With Al gone and withdrawal. I can assume its rough."

Edward didn't respond.

"Havoc and Hawkeye aren't upset with you Ed; none of us are."

"Then why did they send me away?"

The sudden outburst startled Roy. However, it took him less than a second to answer.

"Havoc thought you could use someone with more discipline... Hawkeye wanted you to have someone to relate to..." Roy explained.

"You just admitted your self!" Ed exclaimed "you said you don't understand what I'm going through!"

Roy took a shuddering inhale, then stated his ground.

"I'm talking about suicidal thoughts."

Edward face went from anger to astonishment and finally rested on despair.

"Bullshit."

Roy looked up "excuse me?"

"That's bullshit! You're Colonel Mustang, the flame alchemist! You aren't supposed to have those thoughts!" Edward said almost angry.

Roy paused; the boy who clashed with him so often couldn't believe he was once suicidal. It was a naive thought, and it made Roy feel guilty.

"They were shortly after Ishval... If it hadn't been for Hugehs, I probably wouldn't be here now." Roy said in a dark chuckle. He instantly got the taste of bile in his mouth, he screwed his eyes shut and pushed back flash backs he didn't need to see.

"Colonel?" Edward asked slowly as Mustang took in a large breath and calmed himself down.

"As I was saying, Edward; just because Alphonse is gone. Doesn't mean you don't have family..." Roy began, putting his hand up to quiet the boy before he started.

"You have the Rockbells, The Hugehs', My squad and I. We're all here for you. We're family, and we take care of our own."

Edward looked down at his mug, his golden hair hiding his tired eyes. Eyes to tired to be on a child.

"I'm sorry colonel..." Edward whispered in a choked sob. Roy felt even more guilty. With his recent over dose, the loss of his brother, and now withdrawal; the sapphire eyed man couldn't help himself as he took a shaky inhale in an attempt to calm himself down.

"Don't be Edward. We should have been there for you. You can't go back." Roy mumbled as he stood up, walking around the table to take a spot next to Edward, getting on his knees to be at eye level with the sitting boy.

"I feel like shit..." Edward said quietly. Roy put his hand on the boys shoulder sympathetically and smiled softly. The blonde had been through so much, and alone at that. But Roy wouldn't let it happen again.

No matter how frustrated he got. He would be there for the boy. Even when he didn't need to be anymore.

**OK THATS IT!**

**Im sorry there so short, and Im sorry if you dont think its done, (imma make an epilouge some time) But this is it so shhh or maybe just some drabbles seperately about Edwards rehabilitation**

**THANK YOU FOR READING IM REALLY GLAD I GOT TO TAKE OVER THIS FIC**


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